


Death Doesn’t Discriminate (Between the Sinners and the Saints)

by seekrest



Series: IronDad Bingo [18]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: (i do), (it’s me did you expect anything less?), (with a twist), Angst, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Field Trip, Gen, Peter Parker Gets a Hug, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, you ever think how Peter’s POV of IW & EG is just one really long day?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:27:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28218468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seekrest/pseuds/seekrest
Summary: Peter knows he has to go, just as she has to leave for work but he’s not surprised when May brings him into a hug once more.Another part of their routine, something Peter cherished deeply. They never talked about it, but Peter knew May just as she knew him.He hadn’t hugged his parents goodbye before they left on their trip, asleep in his bed at Ben and May’s when they slipped off in the early morning.He hadn’t hugged Ben goodbye, that last day - a regret that sat like a rock in his chest.Peter hadn’t hugged the important people in his life before they left.He would never make that same mistake again.—IronDad Bingo: Field Trip
Relationships: May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: IronDad Bingo [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1652680
Comments: 39
Kudos: 153
Collections: Irondad Fic Exchange 2020





	Death Doesn’t Discriminate (Between the Sinners and the Saints)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> This is a pinch hit submission for ms1105 for the Irondad Fic Exchange!
> 
> Prompts: Angst / Field Trip

“Peter! You’re gonna be late!” 

Peter groaned as he rolled over in bed, voice muffled into the pillow as he says, “I KNOW!”

“WHAT?”

Peter groans again, forcing himself to sit up and say, “I know!” 

“Well if you know,  _ get up _ !” May calls out cheerily, Peter flopping back on the bed as he closes his eyes.

He’s exhausted, a perpetual state of being for him for the last three weeks. If final exams weren’t enough to finish him off, the weird shit in the sewers might do the trick.

Peter aches like he’s an old man even if a part of him recognizes it’s just in his head, any physical injury long since healed as he blinks an eye open. The dust particles are dancing around in the sunlight, a quiet moment of peace before the rest of the world rushes past him. Or as Ben used to put it, he rushes through the world. 

_ Take it slow, Pete. There’s no rush _ , Ben used to say to an eager and chronically clumsy Peter. While Ben was gone and the bite that changed his life made him a lot less clumsy, his words still run true to Peter and how he felt. 

His phone buzzes so loud from its place on his bedside table that it startles him, throwing him out of his thoughts as he grabs it - smiling when he sees the name across the screen. 

**Nedward** : you excited?????? 

Peter quickly taps out a reply, a few emojis and a GIF before he hears May’s footsteps coming up to his bedroom door - almost launching himself out of bed as she knocks.

“Peter--”

“I’m up, I’m up, promise,” he says, putting his phone down and scrambling to get ready. It takes less than ten minutes for him to get everything he needs, the early morning rush being just as much a part of his routine as the hug that May envelops him in right before he rushes off.

“You said I’m gonna be late,” Peter says, face muffled into her neck as he gently squeezes her back - wishing he could go back to the days when he could hug her without constantly being aware of his strength. 

May more than makes up for his gentle hold, squeezing him tight before pressing a kiss to the top of his forehead as she leans out of the embrace and says, “Tickets?”

Peter nods. “Check.”

“Lunch?”

Peter pats the back of his jean pocket, where his wallet still is. “Check.” 

“Suit?” 

Peter nods again, fixing his grip on his backpack. He didn’t anticipate needing it today but he was glad that May was on board with the whole Spider-Man thing, especially considering what happened when she first found out. 

May brings a hand to his chin, smiling as she says, “Plan?”

“Say hi. Don’t be creepy,” Peter says, May laughing as she brings her hand down.

Peter knows he has to go, just as she has to leave for work but he’s not surprised when May brings him into a hug once more. 

Another part of their routine, something Peter cherished deeply. They never talked about it, but Peter knew May just as she knew him. 

He hadn’t hugged his parents goodbye before they left on their trip, asleep in his bed at Ben and May’s when they slipped off in the early morning. 

He hadn’t hugged Ben goodbye, that last day - a regret that sat like a rock in his chest. 

Peter hadn’t hugged the important people in his life before they left. 

He would never make that same mistake again. 

* * *

“Sup dickwad, you’re in the way.” 

Peter rolls his eyes as Flash brushes against him, letting him hit his shoulder as he passes by. Flash turns back to him, Peter only barely catching on to the smirk on his face as he says, “You’re completely predictable.”

“Huh?” Peter asks, turning away from who had distracted him in the first place as he looks back to Flash - the grin on his face causing his eyes to light up. 

“If you think I’m gonna let this go, you have another thing coming, Parker,” Flash says, nodding back to the direction of where Peter was staring. His ears go red and his eyes widen as he quickly shakes his head, “I don’t--”

“Save it for someone who hasn’t known you for years, Parker,” Flash says with a laugh, walking backwards as Peter makes a face. 

“What are you--” But before Peter gets to finish, Ned comes up behind him - nudging him gently as he says, “Dude, what’s the plan?”

“Uh,” Peter says, looking to Ned before glancing up - only to frown in confusion as he says, “I mean--”

“What plan?”

Peter turns around just as Ned does, Michelle looking at them with an expression that Peter would almost think was bored if he didn’t know her so well now. She’d taken to sitting with them during lunch, especially after Liz moved - enough that Peter started to pick up on the little changes in her facial expressions. 

Peter’s started to notice a lot of different things about her. 

“Uh, no plan. Just talking about--”

“The plan for what pieces we want to look at. Sculptures. Art. Very excited,” Ned says cheerfully, Peter swallowing down the lump in his throat and hoping to anyone who would listen in the universe that Michelle wouldn’t see the poor misdirection for what it is. 

If she does or doesn’t, Peter’s not sure - Michelle just nodding once before saying, “That’s good. There’s a lot to see. You know, today.”

“Uh yeah,” Peter says, scratching the back of his neck as he feels his cheeks grow warmer. “I don’t-- I don’t know a lot about art.” 

“I do,” Michelle says quickly, almost looking embarrassed that she did - Peter scrambling to figure out why that would be the case only for Flash’s voice from the bus window in front of him to surprise him.

“You nerds gonna flirt all day or can we go?”

Peter is mortified but Michelle predictably just squints at Flash, staring him down as she says, “Did you even get the slip signed?”

“Yeah I got the slip signed, did  _ you _ ?” 

Michelle walks past Peter, Flash and her devolving into some kind of argument that Peter isn’t paying attention to - more focused on the way her curls bounce when she walks and noticing that she’s wearing the Converse with paint splatter on them rather than her regular black and white ones. 

“That went well,” Ned says, Peter shooting him a look as he grins. 

Peter wouldn’t say it went  _ well _ so much as it at least didn’t go  _ bad _ , following after Ned as they board the bus. He only half-listens to Mr. Harrington talk about the educational benefits of their field trip, trying and failing to sneak glances towards where Michelle was sitting. 

Unfortunately for Peter, Flash was directly in his line of sight - completely onto what Peter was doing that by the time they were crossing the bridge and heading into Manhattan, he’s caught Flash’s eye one more time. 

Flash makes googly eyes at Peter, puckering his lips up in a kiss that Michelle - thankfully - doesn’t see, eyes turned down towards what Peter can only imagine is her sketchbook. 

The plan to sit together on the bus was already ruined, much less now the stupid plan to ask if she would be willing to show him what pieces were her favorite as they walked around the museum.

He thinks back to the extent of his plan that he’d told May this morning, wondering if he’s already failed in not being creepy for as much as he keeps trying to stare at her. 

Peter groans before folding his arms over the seat in front of him, glancing down to his phone as he scrolls through the different exhibits, hoping that by the time they get to MoMa he’ll have figured out a way to not completely ruin this day. 

* * *

“I should’ve stayed on the bus,” Peter says to himself, the doors of the alien ship he was on closing in front of him.

Panic and adrenaline run through him in equal measure, as he takes in his surroundings - the nanite suit encased around him providing some backlight as he looks around.

“Ok, ok, ok ok, Peter. Think,” he mutters, pressing a hand to the wall behind him as he starts to crawl upward - seeing a crack between the pieces of machinery that he’s sure he can sneak through. 

This was - objectively - a terrible idea, but Peter wasn’t about to leave Mr. Stark alone on this. Not when it was in his power to stop it. 

He crawls through the opening with ease, his senses still buzzing for danger at the back of his neck as he quietly creeps throughout the ship. 

If Peter focuses, he can hear the steps of someone off in the center - a hum of electricity or maybe just the ship itself, whatever it is causing everything within Peter to want to get away from it.

He crawls up on what he can only hope is the ceiling before he sees him, Mr. Stark tiptoeing to look over the edge of a landing and a reminder for Peter why he stuck it out here in the first place. 

He told Mr. Stark almost a year ago that when the bad things happen and you do nothing to stop them, they happen because of you. 

Peter had already failed Ben, failed Mr. Stark that first time when he took the suit, failed Liz and her dad, failed over and over again. 

He wouldn’t fail this time around. 

Peter follows his line of sight, seeing the wizard guy and the alien together before turning back to Mr. Stark. The robe thing from before flies up to him, Peter barely holding back a laugh as Mr. Stark puts up a repulsor. Peter fixes a web to his feet and lowers himself down.

“You're a seriously loyal piece of outerwear, aren't you?”

Peter grins, hanging upside down as he says, “Yeah, uh, speaking of loyalty…”

* * *

“You ready, kid?”

Peter turns to Tony, nodding his head a few times as he says, “Yeah, yeah. I’m good.”

“You were heading to MoMa?” Mr. Stark asks, Peter huffing out a laugh as he looks around the slight orange sky of the alien planet they’re on, waiting with an equal mix of dread and anticipation for Thanos to show up.

“Yeah. Was really looking forward to it too,” Peter says quietly, wondering what was happening back there with Ned or MJ or even Flash. 

He hadn’t even had the chance to text May and doubted interplanetary travel was within their cell phone plan. The itch to hug her comes back to him once more, along with the ever present knowledge that what they were doing was serious.

_ This is a one way ticket _ . 

Mr. Stark’s words echo in his mind, only for the man to actually say, “Didn’t know you were into art.” 

Peter looks back to him, Mr. Stark’s eyes taking in the environment but his fingers trilling against his suit - a nervous tic that Peter’s begun to recognize from the times he’s spent in his lab.

They’ve moved beyond small talk, Peter thinks, yet it feels most appropriate in the moment - a look in Mr. Stark’s eyes that wards Peter away from wanting to fill the silence. It reminds him of the times that he’s been in Mr. Stark’s lab, focused on whatever project that’s right in front of them. 

They’re lightyears away from those moments, literally and metaphorically as Peter tears his eyes away from Mr. Stark and to the planet they’re on. Other Peter’s plan seemed solid, a low hum in the back of his neck as he takes in his surroundings. 

He couldn’t fail. The plan was simple. The others would distract Thanos, fight him and Peter would help get the gauntlet off. It was simple enough, though Peter couldn’t help but feel the thrum of anxiety in his chest as he takes a deep breath.

As they wait, Peter’s mind goes back to May - wondering what  _ she _ would think of this little field trip, much less how Ned, MJ and the rest of his classmates on the bus were feeling.

Peter shakes his head, forcing himself to focus when he notices Mr. Stark glance in his direction.

“You sure you’re okay?”

Peter nods a few times, holding Mr. Stark’s gaze for a beat before he says, “Yeah, yeah totally.”

Mr. Stark looks like he doesn’t believe him but he doesn’t press it, squinting at Peter before finally saying, “Alright, well. Let’s get this show on the road.”

Peter smiles, nodding in agreement before his senses spike - a signal that Mr. Stark immediately takes as a warning from the shift in Peter’s posture.

“Ready to roll, kid?”

“Yeah,” Peter says, letting the mask of the Iron Spider suit materialize over his face. 

“I’m ready.”

* * *

_ We were not ready _ , Peter coughs to himself as he stares up at the orange-red sky once again. 

The fight with Thanos was a miserable failure. Even if Other Peter hadn’t started screaming at him,  _ Peter _ had failed — the gauntlet still firmly on Thanos’ hand as when he’d disappeared. 

He sits up, trying and failing not to beat himself up over this before looking around for Mr. Stark.

Peter sees him laying on the ground, panic shooting through him and memories of Ben gasping in a dark alleyway rushing back to him as he jumps into a stand and runs toward him.

He helps him up with one hand, steadying him with the other. 

There’s a ringing in the back of Peter’s mind, his senses fighting against him as the panic he felt from before starts building.

“Something’s happening,” he hears the alien lady say, Mr. Stark turning his back to him and towards her. 

Just as she says it, she turns to dust right in front of Peter’s eyes - the panic he felt just moments before now transformed into full blooded terror. 

It feels like his insides are being ripped apart from the inside, Peter watching in horror as the other alien guy drifts into nothing before he stares at his hands— the edges of them just barely starting to flake.

“Steady Quill,” he hears Mr. Stark say, Peter’s terror overwhelming him as the other Peter drifts away.

Peter’s senses are screaming at him, every cell in his body trying and failing to fight at whatever is pulling everyone anyway.

“Tony. There was no other way,” Doctor Strange says but Peter doesn’t look at him, too terrified and in too much pain to try and deny it anymore.

“Mr. Stark?”

Peter looks up to him, seeing the same horror he feels mirrored in his eyes as Peter says, “I don’t feel so good.”

“You’re alright,” Mr. Stark says as Peter stumbles forward, fear and dread building when his foot starts to disappear— rambling as he clutches at him.

“I don’t— I don’t know what’s happening. I don’t know—“

He clings to Mr. Stark, desperate and more terrified than he thinks he’s ever felt as he pleads, “I don’t want to go, sir. Please.”

He holds onto him tight, frantic and grasping for something— anyone— to hold on to,  _ feeling _ himself crumble from within. 

“Please. I don’t want to go. I don’t want to go,” he cries out, falling down onto his back and looking up to the sky — hoping that wherever May is that she’s okay.

Peter can feel his hands start to fade away, forcing every bit of strength that he has to look at Mr. Stark— guilt and fear running through him in equal measure that he hadn’t ripped the gauntlet off in time.

“I’m sorry,” Peter whispers, the pain so excruciating that he can’t fight it anymore.

Peter tears his eyes away from Mr. Stark, looking up to the orange-red sky and lets himself fade into nothing.

Only to open his eyes again once more, gasping as he looks up at the sky and clutches at his chest.

Mr. Stark is gone, Peter’s senses muted even if the adrenaline of fighting to stay alive just seconds before is still flowing through his veins. He sits up, looking around for Mr. Stark only to see Doctor Strange, other Peter and the alien people he’d fought with — Doctor Strange coming up to him with a stern look on his face. 

“It’s been five years. Come on, they need us,” he says quickly before giving directions to he other Peter and the rest. Peter barely has time to make sense of what he’s said when Doctor Strange moves his hands in a semicircle, orange sparks flying around.

“What’s-- holy shit,” Peter exclaims, the orange ring getting bigger and bigger until it’s a portal, leading elsewhere.

“I am ready to go into battle,” the burly alien next to him says, brandishing his knives as Peter looks to Doctor Strange. He has a smirk on his face, before turning away - lifting himself into the air and flying through the portal as the rest of them move forward.

Not to be undone, adrenaline still flowing through him - Peter shoots off a web to one of the broken buildings, doing a flip in midair and landing on the other side of the portal.

He looks around in shock at seeing the armies all around, just as he sees dozens and dozens of orange portals all around him. 

_ Whoa,  _ Peter thinks to himself as he walks with the rest of them - joining the crowd as they move to form a battle line. 

There’s so many people everywhere, cheers and shouts calling out as they advance. Peter’s never been more confused than he feels in this moment. Five minutes ago, it felt like his insides were crumbling from the inside out and now here he was - advancing with hundreds towards an alien army.

“AVENGERS!” Captain America calls out. 

Peter feels a thrill rush through him, not of fear but of excitement - bracing himself into a crouch as he extends a hand beneath him. He doesn’t know where Mr. Stark is or how he got here but he knows how to fight, taking a deep breath when Captain America says, “ _ Assemble _ .”

The crowd roars, running forward.

Peter smiles despite himself, sending a web off to latch onto the one of the  _ flying horses _ before swinging into battle.

There’s yells and cheers and cries all around him, Peter fighting as quickly as he can as aliens and Avengers alike all clamor together.

It’s disorienting and so unlike the fight they just had minutes ago against Thanos, three people fighting on their side for every alien all around him. 

Peter changes the settings to taser webs, shooting them off in rapid sequence as he looks around for Mr. Stark - hoping with everything within him that he’s okay. 

He does a flip, bouncing off an alien in the sky only to land and see Mr. Stark fight off what Peter can only describe as alien looking dogs. The same guy from the park is back again, bringing his hand-sword-thing behind him to stab Mr. Stark. 

Peter shoots off a web to pull him back, the alien guy look back in surprise as Peter yank him only for the giant guy to step right on him.

“Oops?” Peter says to himself, cringing slightly before looking back to Mr. Stark.

“Hey!” He says as he jumps forward, running until he’s helping up Mr. Stark. The mask of the Iron Spider suit and Mr. Stark’s suit dematerialize, Peter searching his face as he lets out a huff.

“Holy cow, you will not believe what’s been going on. Do you remember when we were in space? And I got all dusty? I must’ve passed out because I woke up and you were gone,” Peter says in a rush, Mr. Stark having a funny look on his face. He looks different,  _ older _ somehow - Peter continuing to rattle off without taking a breath, “but Doctor Strange was there and he was like, ‘it’s been five years. Come on, they need us’.”

Peter takes a step back, mimicking the same move moment that Doctor Strange did as he says, “And then he started doing the yellow sparkly thing he does all the time--”

“He did? Oh no,” he barely catches Mr. Stark saying as the man walks forward, Peter flabbergasted as he asks, “What are you doing?”

Only to be completely surprised and thrown off guard when Mr. Stark pulls him into a hug, a tight grip not so different from how Peter had clutched him minutes before.

“Oh,” Peter says, Mr. Stark readjusting his grip to hold him tighter. Mr. Stark had never been a particularly physically affectionate man with him, the awkward side hug in the car when he was dropped off at May’s that first night and claps on the back during their infrequent lab times.

This was different, immediately so - Peter letting himself breathe for a moment and rest in an embrace that felt warm and comforting. “Oh. This is nice.”

Mr. Stark squeezes him one more time before finally letting go, bracing his hands on his shoulders with clear affection in his eyes before before, “You ready, kid?”

“Yeah,” Peter says, feeling a little breathless and confused, ready for whatever comes next. “Yeah, I’m ready.” 

* * *

Peter is not ready.

The fight is loud and disorienting, blood and dirt and sweat smeared all across him as the glowy lady fights against Thanos. Peter hasn’t been in enough battles to know what the next move should be but he gets a feeling in the pit of his stomach that something is wrong - the battlefield growing quiet as he shoots a web off at someone only for the alien in front of him to turn into dust.

“What?” He huffs out to himself, the remnants of the alien disintegrated into nothing as he sits up.

It’s then that he sees Thanos’ armies being turned into nothing, a low hum in the back of his mind that there’s something that he’s missing as he looks around. 

It’s just like it was back on the orange planet, aliens all around him disintegrating by the dozens as Peter sends a web out to swing towards where Mr. Stark should be.

He sees Mrs. Potts land on the ground, following after her just in time to see War Machine - his heart leaping up into his throat when he sees who they’re walking towards.

_ No. No. No. No. No,  _ Peter thinks to himself, images of Ben bleeding blurring his vision as he says, “Mr. Stark?”

War Machine moves just out of the way, Peter’s breath and hands shaky as he crouches in front of Mr. Stark. “Hey! Mr. Stark, can you hear me?”

Mr. Stark looks awful, half of his face burnt all along his right-hand side - eyes dazed and unfocused as Peter’s panic returns in full force. 

_ Not again. Not again. Not again _ . 

“It’s Peter,” Peter says, Mr. Stark’s eyes drifting over to meet his. “Hey. We won, Mr. Stark.”

Mr. Stark just stares blank at him, Peter feeling his chest tighten as he repeats, “We won, Mr. Stark. We won!” Peter can feel the lump in his throat, trying and failing not to cry as he continues, “You did it, sir. You did it.”

He clutches at the arc reactor, just as he feels cool metal hands on his shoulders pulling him away.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, vision blurring from the tears swarming his vision. “Tony…”

It’s Mrs. Potts who is pulling him away, Peter letting out a sob as he lets himself be pulled up and away - knowing that if May had been given the chance to be there with Ben, she would’ve taken it. 

_ I’m sorry. I’m sorry, not again,  _ Peter thinks to himself as he cries, pressing a hand to his face to try and control the sobs building in his throat. 

He doesn’t pay attention to what Mrs. Potts says, too consumed with grief and with guilt that he hadn’t been quick enough to stop it - still grappling with the reality that half an hour ago, they’d been fighting off Thanos themselves, that a few hours ago he’d been on a bus to MoMa. 

He lets himself get pulled away, feeling War Machine’s arms wrapped around him as Peter watches yet another person he failed to save die right in front of him.

* * *

It’s quiet, in the aftermath.

Peter feels numb, the dirt and the blood caked underneath his finger tips bugging him as he runs a finger underneath it. 

He still doesn’t know where he is, vaguely unsure if he’s even on earth as people continue to move all around him - people he doesn’t recognize all walking past him as he sits and stares off into the distance. 

His leg is bobbing up and down, anxiety now sitting like a rock in the pit of his stomach. He wants to call May but also  _ doesn’t _ , wondering now if what Doctor Strange had said was true and it really had been five years.

_ Five years _ .

It doesn’t make sense. It hasn’t even been five _hours_ since he woke up that morning and yet Peter feels like he’s lived an entire lifetime, hands still shaking as his memory brings up what Mr. Stark had looked like when the arc reactor went off.

_ My parents. Ben. Tony. My parents. Ben. Tony. My parents. Ben. Tony. _

It runs in a loop in his mind, biting back tears as much as he can only to feel them fall anyway as he picks at the dirt underneath his fingernails. He needs to call May, he  _ needs _ her but he’s terrified now - his very tenuous grip on reality threatening to completely shatter at the possibility that she was gone too. 

Peter doesn’t know how long he sits there, vaguely aware of a medic coming by to check and see if he’s okay. Any injuries that he got in the battle is long gone now, the blood and the sweat still caked on him a physical reminder of the inner turmoil he feels. 

“PETER?”

Peter’s head snaps up, wondering for a brief second if he’s hearing things when he sees her - May rushing past medics and others from the battle towards him.

Peter lets out a gasp, moving on autopilot as he stands - only for relief to immediately flow through him when he notices that she looks exactly the same, wearing the same clothes that she had this morning.

_ Not this morning. Five years ago. It’s been five years _ , he thinks as he rushes towards her, seeing May’s fear so clearly that it makes his heart constrict.

They run into each other, Peter clutching at her so tightly that he has to remind himself to keep his powers in check - gasping into her hair as May’s embrace envelops him.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. It’s okay, I’m here. We’re here,” May murmurs into his hair, Peter just holding her tight as he scrunches his eyes close. 

It’s so familiar, so warm and so comforting and so reminiscent of the hug they shared this morning - of the hug Mr. Stark had given him - Peter letting out a sob as May just holds him tighter.

He hadn’t hugged his parents goodbye before they left on their trip, asleep in his bed at Ben and May’s when they slipped off in the early morning. 

He hadn’t hugged Ben goodbye, that last day - a regret that sat like a rock in his chest. 

Peter hadn’t hugged the important people in his life before they left. He promised himself that he would never make that same mistake again. 

He’d hugged Mr. Stark. 

Yet holding May tight, sobbing into her shoulder as they sink down to the ground, Peter couldn’t help but feel like he had still lost. 

**Author's Note:**

> I love it when people scream at me in the comments.


End file.
